No Pressure

“Let’s take out our angst in soccer!” Violet lets out, her hair a slash against the blue sky. A bold declaration, but,

“No, let’s just join a 4square game line and talk.” Another girl, Miri, interrupts, and I agree with her. Waiting in the line suppresses my spirit, but it’s still a notch higher than humiliation.

The sun is directly above us, burning the asphalt that we stand on, and any will to win. It peeled away from us and melted. Violet is one of the only girls who tries to withstand it, going several rounds more. Even she turns herself in, joining Miri and I at the end of the line. I try hard not to laugh. My eyes squinting could be owed to the sun, thankfully, burning into our skin and the asphalt court. The longer I stay in it, it doesn't create a bad feeling, exactly.

“This is almost like sunbathing, “I say. “kind of reminds me of where I come from.”

Violet squints her eyes at me. “Right, with 10 states, which exactly are you talking about?” Well, I would say that’s an exaggeration, but,

“Right now, I mean, New Mexico, the state I lived in the longest. But I guess it could also apply to California,Texas, or anything in the west, really…”

“Wow, you’ve been places, April,” Miri remarks. There’s something like awe or shock in her wide eyes. Is it something to be surprised about? I’ve never thought of it that way.

Moving across the country by road multiple times means seeing everything, and everything is a lot more boring than people would imagine. The countless hours it takes to cross all those deserts and mountains, winding roads of the West…

I picture them now, endless parched ground rolling by, taking up half the vision in a day’s worth. To cover the sound of speedbumps, the radio in the truck played songs, but which was more annoying, I can’t remember, because as soon as it was turned on, everything outside and inside the truck became a blur.

The conversations of my parents bled into the loud lyrics. The scenery was the only solid thing, but even that was unclear, because if it’s moving by so quickly, how do you hold on to it?

The roads left memories of everything old and familiar, home, people, places, in the dust, for something new. Never looking back to the old. Always something new, always looking forward. Always facing the morning sun, piercing through the windshield so many times that the eyes no longer feel shocked by it. That kind of numbness, there’s not a single feeling attached, and yet, still,

“I'd like to go there one day,” Miri says suddenly. I snap out of my daze, turn to her. “to California, I mean. Wouldn’t it be cool to go on a road trip, all together?”

“Sure!“ I agree. Next to us, Violet takes a little longer to voice agreement. I think about it, why I agreed so quickly. Because would it be any different? Trapped in a car, setting off on the winding roads, endless boredom… But maybe with them, it’d be better?

Maybe it would be nice to know that even if things are being left behind, I would be bringing someone with me.

At school, we don’t take each other’s time, the classes do, so interactions are carefree. But off the grounds, there’s some trouble trying to picture it. A road trip. It’s too much to ask, isn’t it, taking away from someone’s time… to do what? Leave everything behind for a conversation of trivial things? Even if it’s the same as at school, talking about what’s normally said isn’t as easy. The pressure is there, taking away from what we liked at school, a lack of it.

So a road trip with friends, that kind of idea is too far away. Friends are attached to schools, places, and times, nothing more. To overextend that is just not possible. Classes, schedules will always rule, take our time, our life.

But maybe this is enough. Just standing here, on the court, with the sun above us. A few words passed between us.

“Agh, it’s so boring here,” said by Violet, “should we get out of here eventually?”

Miri responds, “Out of this State, or the city?”

To which, Violet responds, “Out of this line!”

But I shake my head, tell them, “Let’s just stay. And Talk.” So we do. We move along with the rest of the students, a line that seems to stretch on forever. No end in sight. But our conversation also never ends. We look at the sights around us, the sky changing, people playing. Isn’t that like a road trip with friends?