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This poem depicts suicidal ideation and family estrangement. Readers who find these subjects difficult may prefer to skip it.
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I was forewarned ,
But
it was finally
The day i was supposed to
Kill myself,
Kill myself?
The limes tasted a bit more
sour than regular
or perhaps, my taste buds
were overstimulated
From the pooling saliva
And with it ,came the ability
To choke on my own fluid and gulp
Years of suppressed words
Trying to erupt like vomit
And even more
the gut wrenching
feeling of trying to hold it in.
Limes help prevent throwing up
I touch it with tongue tip
Consuming the overwhelming feeling
Of holding it in again
The never ending cyle ,
the catastrophic loop
I part my lips slightly
Right after closing them
And what for ?
ANOTHER futile attempt
Attempt to free my larynx
Out of the supernatural gravity
To elude the heaviness and work it
I have to , for this is
the last chance
To face , my first love
And let her know
about The guilt pressing
against my ribs
Since the day i
developed consciousness
For me taking up space
nine whole months
In her unwelcoming womb.
The limes , yes
She thought me how it
prevents throwing up , but
Sorry mother , today
I'll no longer be
and with it
The existence of immense guilt
To betray you and your limes
For speaking up
Will no longer persist.