I keep telling myself
that I'll sleep early tonight,
and then suddenly it's 2 am
and I'm randomly thinking about my whole future
like I'm supposed to have it figured out already.
Some days,
I feel really important.
Like I could become someone huge.
Other days,
I can't even function properly.
Everyone around me
looks like they know where they're going.
Meanwhile I'm just standing here,
pretending I understand life
because that's what everyone else seems to be doing too.
There are people I miss
for no dramatic reason.
not because of a fight or a falling out,
But because my days used to include them,
and now they don't.
And maybe that's what growing up feels like.
Growing up is not just any number,
it's how to carry unfinished feelings
without dropping everything else too.