when I run

as a runner
my greatest strength is to find
strength where there is none

five weeks before state
feel like crawling out my skin
can't see me in the mirror
days and weeks stuck

keep on lying things'll be fine
lifetime best twice, even

two weeks before state
pulled my hip; told it's mental
won't go away (maybe it's mental?)
compounding, compounding

keep on lying things'll be fine
cheer at state til my throat cuts dry

watch my team run with pride
but inwards, frustration

what'll I do if I can't lie anymore?

I may never be comfortable
never be resilient

still
that doesn't mean I can't be strong